I really want to entrust you the following scentens you actually shouldn't say to an AD(H)D person. I also try to explain why you shouldn't say it. General because it hurts, but also sometimes it is frustrating for us. Yes, we know we sometimes can't do things like non AD(H)D person and we get angry about ourselfs because we simply can't do it. When someone is coming and says stuff like "It's not that hard." We feel sometimes like nobody actually want to understand us nor listen when we say something. Aside moste of the people wouldn't like it eighter to hear such things.
1. It isn't so hard to concentrate.
Well for us it is. Maybe if we wouldn't socke up every little piece of "information" it wouldn't be so hard ^^ But you know I have to focuse on the work and also on the beautiful butterfly that is fluttering outside the window and following the conversation that is going on in the same room. So I'm totally sorry that I can't concentrate so easaly as you.
2. You just need to try it harder.
It isn't like I wouldn't try. I give my best and can't reach the goal, do you know this feeling? A AD(H)D person has this feeling every day and not like once a day so please don't heasitate us with this scentens.
3. You don't try it hard enought.
I try as hard as I can and I guess I try harder than a lot of people would do in the same situation. ;) So it's basicly the same as the other two but this sounds more like a accusation and to be honest nobody like this.
4. I think you don't want to, because if you want to you wouldn't be so unconcentrated.
Well maybe I want to but it is hard to focus on one thing that consume a lot of time. It is frustrating to not getting to the same point with the same effort as other. So maybe instead of criticize me you could instead try to finde something that helps me to focus.
5. Why aren't you listening.
Thats often the point who I really want to answere "Maybe because you are borring!" But actually it isn't the problem of beeing borring it is more that a lot of people talk and talk and never get to the point. If you want us to get the information you want to share with us, please make it short so we don't have to filter all the unnecessary information. I really love to have long conversations with people but I can't stand a monolouge.
6. You are a horrible friend.
Beside NOBODY want to hear this phrase, because it hurts everyone! For the AD(H)D person who anway has enought frustrating situation every day and also a huge load of self-doubts, it's like you would kill someone. The unstable card house inside the AD(H)D person will colapse instantly. If you have problem with one friend of yours I would recomand to say what you don't like but not in an agressiv scentens like "you are horrible!" and if we get "too" emotional please let us some space so we can cool down.
7. Did you forgett again *inserte something he/she forgott*?!
Ah shit I'm sorry! Really, I am! But it is really hard to not forgett stuff when there are so many things going on every where. In my head and outside of my head is a huge jumble. I have to writte down the stuff so I don't forgett it. I really started to add every thing I have to do in my agenda. Even small things like "Do your laundry", "Houswork" and even so I don't overplan my days there are days that is just writen "chill". Why you may ask. It is really simple for me it is horrible when I don't use time efficient. I get this feeling I miss something somewhere. That's why I have to reminde me that sometimes I have to chill and doing nothing and that it isn't a bad thing and I don't miss stuff.
8. Everyone has problem to concentrate so we are all sometimes a little bit AD(H)D.
AD(H)D is not the same as "sometimes I have problem to concentrate". Nothing more to say about that.
9. You're overract.
We have soo much anger and frustration in us that something small can be huge for us. I mean think about this situation: You try and try and try to get something, for example an ton sculpture like you have to do this in school and you barly manage to finish it and thene one of your friend makes fun over it, because it looks like a potato...Yeah it looks ridiculus. but it is so frustrating to always mess up stuff. Even the stuff you really want to be perfect or good. That's why we sometimes react so strong with our feelings. It is like a spieder net, every feeling is attached to another and if you would pull on one string every thing would react in some way so thats the same way as we do.
10. Is it so hard to listen?!
Well, yes? If you speak for maybe 5min without a small pause or interreaction with me it is. Can you imagine how hard it is to focus on it. I mean it is a long borring action for the one who is listening, there is no varity in it so it is even harder to focus. It is like siting in a class room with a teacher who has this monoton voice. Most of the people have problem to focus on this, it is the same for us when someone is talking a monolouge or don't directliy interreact with us. So yes, it is hard to listen and to focus for such a long time.
11. Why can't you do *insert some easy task*
I forgott it or maybe because I get distracted ^^' Just reminde me and don't say such charges. I will do it, but in my way and also in my time.
There was this time as I was a kid. My room was allways such a mess and my mum had to force me to just clear up some spaces ^^ And now I live alone and I managed to clear up my whole appartement, well not the whole one there is a space where it isn't "clear" and that is my cabinet ^^' But I figured out a way of cleaning and doing stuff. The way is maybe not the same but in the end it looks like a normall appartement of a 21 year old person I guess ^^'
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