The ADD Serie - Things you should say!

A while ago I wrote about what you shouldn't say to an AD(H)D avected person and now it is time to show what you could say so we get a little boost ^^ Well there is something that you should have in mind when you talk to an ADHD person! If it has a slightly negative descent in your voice, no matter what you say (!), it will never get right to us. So if you want to say something nice, just say it if you really mean it like you say it.




1. You've done great!

If we do something really good let us know. Yeah everyone want some compliments, but for us who normally just hear critisme it is not just a nice gestures. It is way more, we sometimes don't realize when we've done something great or good, because we are in this "We can't do anything"-rut. So please let us know when we've done something good.

2. Would you like if write you a E-Mail/Message to reminde you for *what ever*

THANK YOU for acknowledge that I sometimes forgett stuff and don't make a big deal about it!
I write alot of things down so I don't forgett it but sometimes it is good to reminde me, especially if it is something important! Because I forget a load of things to write down ^^"

3. How much water did you drink today? or Did you had lunch yet?

This sounds maybe really odd but we are so into remember things and don't forgett stuff that we actually forgett to drink and eat ^^' If we could live without air we probably would forgett to breath too ;) And you all know how people are if they're hungry 8"D And we often don't realize that we are hungry. I don't know how it is with people who are on medicine and have ADHD but I guess for them it is even more important, because medicine can decrease the appetite.

4. I make a list for you.

OMG! Thank you so much! So I can go trough it and will for sure don't forgett something. We don't ask for it because we don't want to feel silly or stupide for needing a list to do even every day tasks ^^" I tried to reminde my coworkers to make to-do lists and send me as an email, because first then it is documented and second I don't forgett about the tasks I've to do ^^ But sometimes I don't ask because peoples reaction are sometimes strange and sometimes really rought :( But every one who ask if I need a list or automaticly does a list...I love you!

5. Acknowledge that it can be tought!

Well you can say things like "It's ok if you forgett something". Just encourage us if we messed up something and don't make a big deal out of this, we also don't make big deals about something you forgott ;)

6. Hey why don't we take a 5 minute break?

Especially for the ADHD person BUT also relevant for ADD people ;) Because it is really unconftebal to ask "Hey can I get up for a minute?" or "Can I leave for about 5 minutes?" For the hyperactive ones it is good so they can move and for the more introverted ADD people it is good to just seal off for a moment. In school I often ask if I can go to the toillet, just so I can seal off myself so I can concentrate again. At work I also often go to the toillet or try to work in a meeting room. Well sometimes I bump in to incomprehension and then I try to explain why I need to work in a meeting room. The good thing about the toilett solution is, nobody will ask you why you go to the toilett that often ^^'

7. If you have to do homework try to give your body tasks while you do the homework.

It can really help if you try to do small movments, like tipping with you finger against other fingers so you don't have to concentrate on sitting still. I've calculated with finger tipping until some classmate laught at me because it seams as I couldn't calculate in my head. THAT was/is the worst thing you could EVER do to anybody. Because after that I really had been scared to calculate infront of people and still have this issue, because I untrained myself the finger tipping thing. So if your kid or even your coworker does some movements, LET them do it! It helps us to concentrate and we got our system. Well for the ADHD people try not to make huge movments just wipping with the feet or tipping with fingers, so you actually don't distract others.

8. If we don't text you back text again.

Well if we doing stuff and you text us, we see it and think "oh I've to respond it later" and after 5 min we forgott it. Not because we don't like you! It's just we've a hard time focusing on something and we have a memory like a gold fish ;) So if we forgott to respond please just write it again or write reminder or just something so we actually look what you wrote befor. 

9. I like you / I love you 

Everybody like to hear this scentens.It is not just for ADHD Avected important to know they're loved and they have someone who is there for them. ADHD people just forgett that sometime because they know how annoying they can be and how hard it can be for the surrounding so just let us know that you love us with our edgily!

10. Show interesst in our Hobbies

That also counts for non avected but for us it is like heaven if we have something that we really like to do and are good in that. We kinda get obsessed about it, because we are good in something and we can over focuse on it ^^ So don't say "I'm not intressted in that" or far worse "That's shitty!"/"It's childish" or any negative comment about it. It hurts and alsowe get that impression you don't like us and you're not intressted in our personality. Yeah maybe you aren't really into the hobbies of our friends but you could give it a try. We will do so too! AND if you don't liked it, it is fine at least you checked it out! :) Also we feel different and weird.

11. Do you want to talk about it?

Also this point counts for non avected. Alot of people with ADHD don't talk about it and keep it inside them and that accumulate a hugh stalk of frustration. depression and self hate. It grows in a thiny way but it grows and can lead to an explosion. So if someone with ADHD go off about maybe something small it could be the straw that breaks the camel's back.
The stalk of frustration can be build of a lot of things like having a bad day or frustrated about the math class. Basicly everything you could blame yourself for.
It helps alot if you have someone who is willing to listen and try to understand our toughts.

12. Treat us like we are normal human beeings!

Yes, we maybe are a little bit odd to non avected but we are the same as you are...A human beeing. So treat us like it. I guess there is nothing more to say than respect and accept us as we are, because we do that too.